The two often collide to become one. Physical health and mental health are often intertwined that if you neglect one, the other suffers. One of my goals right now is to build up my physical health again so that I can confidently say I am strong; I am healthy. The problem here comes from the lies in my head saying that I should already have reached my particular health goals when really that just isn't be the case, and that's alright. We all have goals and in order to reach them we have to work towards them and push through the insecurity, the frustration and the difficulty. My friend challenged me the other day to get back in the game with working out because it really does help build up your mood and helps release endorphins. So that's my next step in self care: physical exercise. I'm going to do a challenge for myself that my friend is making for me then I will be on my way! I'm going to swallow my pride of remembering what I could do, and reach towards new goals with a new plan. Get excited :)
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So I'm going to be trying something new and I'll let you know how it goes! I've been trying to get more active but it almost feels like my whole body is different and since my energy levels still aren't what they used to be YET, I am going to be trying more stretching, yoga and meditation or devotions to help with anxiety. So yoga is another great self care option that can be done in your own home or with a friend and can be for all ages. :) I'm going to start with beginner level, in my house, by myself lol. It'll be good for my body to move again and I'm looking forward to feeling the results. I'll be using the yoga instructor, YOGA WITH ADRIENE, who is really good I hear.
Here is the link below: https://www.youtube.com/user/yogawithadriene My kind of art therapy revolves around burning objects or 'pyrography' haha. I find it calms me down and I"m able to think a lot better. Self care is all about finding something you enjoy and creating time in your day to do it so that you feel nourished and refreshed. It's all about balance. Wood burning has been an awesome escape for me and lets me focus and make a million pieces of art which kinda harnesses the 'i'm irritable and want to walk around my house but do nothing'. If you feel like maybe screen time doesn't cut it anymore, I highly suggest going back and remembering what you enjoyed to do with your time once upon a time. I think you'll find a rekindled joy and restoration.
1. Find your values. - what I did with this was create a little bubble of all the things I valued then eventually narrowed them down to three or four so that they are in the fore front of my brain. 2. Practice saying no. - NO. Just kidding I don't even know where to start with this one. haha getting there 3. Become aware of your need to please. - my psychiatrist has been very keen to stop me in my tracks the second I try doing this and is something I'm definitely working on by just speaking my mind in love. 4. Work towards accepting yourself. (full time job fyi) - so with the beginning stages of bi polar, I can handle almost nothing haha. I used to do a million things at once, now I can take baths, put on makeup, clean my house and look after myself. That's it. Cooking is hard, working is impossible at this moment, social situations can be difficult. So I'm learning to accept my new normal. 5.Get mindful - I'm starting to get into the habit of praying and thinking in the morning without doing much else. I put on music and just pray and think or do yoga or listen to a podcast or ted talk. It works like you wouldn't believe. 6. Learn how to be alone. - right now I can't be alone for two long otherwise it can be unsafe so I'm saving this one for another time. 7. Find yourself with therapy. - Oh my goodness the heavens have been opened! I had no idea how amazing it was until i started it. DO it. You'll love it. It's like pulling out a sliver. Difficult but necessary.
Hopefully you don't have to end up where I'm at to realize how important you are and how much you mean to someone, something, or to yourself. You need to mean something to yourself in order for you to find joy, compassion and acceptance. I can't speak for everyone but I feel we all are on similar journies of finding self love and acceptance and we try to fill the void in different ways; for me it was people pleasing. The more people like me, the less they could hurt me and hurt who I was. In one of the evenings, a nurse found me and had printed out several sheets to help me with finding some self acceptance. I didn't even mention anything, she's just awesome (that's how good they are up there), and it hanged me. Her talk previously about boundaries and vulnerability led to a quote she had found and the last portion said, "Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness, will we discover the infinite power of our light." (Brene Brown) To me that means, only when we explore our weaknesses and flaws that we see, can we see how truly beautiful we are, which then in turn, makes us lights in a dark world.
I'm not saying my self love is complete, but I feel like I created some new neurotransmitters in my brain that I will continue to work on to make more daily thought patterns uplifting and powerful. I really encourage you to click the link (button) below to review the ted talk that highlights the things we talked about.
ILast day at the hospital (hopefully) :) my Doctor just needs to come do a quick check in to make sure I'm good, then I can leave! To be completely honest I'm not super happy to leave. I don't sleep super well at home yet because it's really hard to turn my brain off to things that aren't an issue. So for example I woke up at 1am wondering if my feet would be able to move or what if my dog needed to be let out (it never needs to be let out at that time). But I tried to relax and read a book which is better than usual so I'm making small amounts of progress which is good! With Bi Polar it feels like your brain is running a million miles a minute and because I'm pretty anxious most of the time it's usually pretty negative things. But on the plus side I also do awesome things like make a blog or I'm currently writing a play because why not? I know it's probably because I"m on the 'up swing' but that's ok. If I read it after when I'm low or feeling fairly normal, I can just change it ;). So this page is primarily for people to give some ideas of some good self care/self regulation options because I'm fresh out. It has been way too long that I have even looked in the mirror so I have a long way to go but I feel like I've made bits of progress and I just know there are people out there itching to share their story of self love! So bring it on folks! It can be anything from, painting your nails to doing makeup, to going for a walk. Whatever. I'd love to hear it from you. :)
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June 2020
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